Will the Real Martian Please Stand Up?

"**Will the Real Martian Please Stand Up?**"
"Will the Real Martian Please Stand Up?"
The Twilight Zone episode
Episode no.	Season 2; Episode 28
Directed by	Montgomery Pittman
Written by	Rod Serling
Production code	173-3660
Original air date	May 26, 1961
Guest appearances
	John Hoyt as Ross, the businessman; Jean Willes as Ethel McConnell, the dancer; Jack Elam as Avery, the crazy man; Barney Phillips as Haley, the cook; John Archer as Trooper Bill Padgett; William Kendis as Olmstead, the bus driver; Morgan Jones as Trooper Dan Perry; Gertrude Flynn as Rose Kramer, the older wife; Bill Erwin as Peter Kramer, the older husband; Jill Ellis as Connie Prince, the younger wife; Ron Kipling as George Prince, the younger husband;
Episode chronology
← Previous; "The Mind and the Matter"	Next →; "The Obsolete Man"
	The Twilight Zone (1959 TV series) (season 2)
	List of episodes

"Will the Real Martian Please Stand Up?" is episode 64 of the American television anthology series The Twilight Zone. It originally aired on May 26, 1961 on CBS.

Opening narration

Wintry February night, the present. Order of events: a phone call from a frightened woman notating the arrival of an unidentified flying object, then the checkout you've just witnessed, with two state troopers verifying the event – but with nothing more enlightening to add beyond evidence of some tracks leading across the highway to a diner. You've heard of trying to find a needle in a haystack? Well, stay with us now, and you'll be part of an investigating team whose mission is not to find that proverbial needle, no, their task is even harder. They've got to find a Martian in a diner, and in just a moment you'll search with them, because you've just landed – in The Twilight Zone.

Plot

While investigating reports about a UFO, state troopers Dan Perry and Bill Padgett find evidence that something crashed in a frozen pond and its occupant fled to a nearby diner called the Hi-Way Café. Upon arriving, the troopers find a bus parked outside. Inside the diner, they find the cook Haley, bus driver Olmstead, and his passengers: dancer Ethel McConnell, outlandish old man Avery, businessman Ross, and two married couples.

The troopers announce a suspected alien may be among them and asks for everyone to identify themselves. After introducing himself, Olmstead states he was forced to stop at the diner due to the snowstorm outside. After learning the bridge ahead is closed, the troopers tell the passengers they may have to wait until morning pending an inspection by the county engineer. Olmstead states he counted six passengers on initial boarding, but the troopers point out seven in the diner. Haley claims the diner was empty before the bus arrived.

Following initial debate, Ethel suggests the couples should be cleared of suspicion as the spouses know each other. Both couples readily agree, but begin suspecting each other. When asked for her ID, Ethel claims it was sent ahead with her luggage. Despite this, Olmstead vouches for her, admitting he did notice her. As Avery jokes and Ross complains about not being able to make an important meeting, tensions rise after the jukebox flashes and the tabletop sugar dispensers explode. The troopers then receive a phone call telling them the bridge is safe to cross. Olmstead is concerned about its instability, but the troopers assuage his fears and everyone leaves after paying Haley.

Sometime later, Ross returns alone and explains the bridge collapsed, with no survivors other than himself. When Haley asks how Ross survived, the latter explains that everything that happened earlier, such as the jukebox and phone call, were illusions, and reveals himself as a three-armed alien scout sent ahead of his arriving fleet to ensure Earth is ready for Martian colonization. However, Haley reveals that he is a three-eyed alien scout from Venus and that his colonists have intercepted the Martian fleet.

Closing narration

Incident on a small island, to be believed or disbelieved. However, if a sour-faced dandy named Ross or a big, good-natured counterman who handles a spatula as if he'd been born with one in his mouth, – if either of these two entities walk onto your premises, you'd better hold their hands – all three of them – or check the color of their eyes – all three of them. The gentlemen in question might try to pull you in – to The Twilight Zone.

References

^ Parisi, Nicholas (October 24, 2018). Rod Serling: His Life, Work, and Imagination. University Press of Mississippi. p. 243. ISBN 9781496819451 – via Google Books.

DeVoe, Bill. (2008). Trivia from The Twilight Zone. Albany, GA: Bear Manor Media. ISBN 978-1-59393-136-0
Grams, Martin. (2008). The Twilight Zone: Unlocking the Door to a Television Classic. Churchville, MD: OTR Publishing. ISBN 978-0-9703310-9-0

External links

"Will the Real Martian Please Stand Up?" at IMDb

[1] Parisi, Nicholas (October 24, 2018). Rod Serling: His Life, Work, and Imagination. University Press of Mississippi. p. 243. ISBN 9781496819451 – via Google Books.

[1]

v t e The Twilight Zone (1959) episodes
Season 1	"Where Is Everybody?" "One for the Angels" "Mr. Denton on Doomsday" "The Sixteen-Millimeter Shrine" "Walking Distance" "Escape Clause" "The Lonely" "Time Enough at Last" "Perchance to Dream" "Judgment Night" "And When the Sky Was Opened" "What You Need" "The Four of Us Are Dying" "Third from the Sun" "I Shot an Arrow into the Air" "The Hitch-Hiker" "The Fever" "The Last Flight" "The Purple Testament" "Elegy" "Mirror Image" "The Monsters Are Due on Maple Street" "A World of Difference" "Long Live Walter Jameson" "People Are Alike All Over" "Execution" "The Big Tall Wish" "A Nice Place to Visit" "Nightmare as a Child" "A Stop at Willoughby" "The Chaser" "A Passage for Trumpet" "Mr. Bevis" "The After Hours" "The Mighty Casey" "A World of His Own"
Season 2	"King Nine Will Not Return" "The Man in the Bottle" "Nervous Man in a Four Dollar Room" "A Thing About Machines" "The Howling Man" "Eye of the Beholder" "Nick of Time" "The Lateness of the Hour" "The Trouble with Templeton" "A Most Unusual Camera" "The Night of the Meek" "Dust" "Back There" "The Whole Truth" "The Invaders" "A Penny for Your Thoughts" "Twenty Two" "The Odyssey of Flight 33" "Mr. Dingle, the Strong" "Static" "The Prime Mover" "Long Distance Call" "A Hundred Yards Over the Rim" "The Rip Van Winkle Caper" "The Silence" "Shadow Play" "The Mind and the Matter" "Will the Real Martian Please Stand Up?" "The Obsolete Man"
Season 3	"Two" "The Arrival" "The Shelter" "The Passersby" "A Game of Pool" "The Mirror" "The Grave" "It's a Good Life" "Deaths-Head Revisited" "The Midnight Sun" "Still Valley" "The Jungle" "Once Upon a Time" "Five Characters in Search of an Exit" "A Quality of Mercy" "Nothing in the Dark" "One More Pallbearer" "Dead Man's Shoes" "The Hunt" "Showdown with Rance McGrew" "Kick the Can" "A Piano in the House" "The Last Rites of Jeff Myrtlebank" "To Serve Man" "The Fugitive" "Little Girl Lost" "Person or Persons Unknown" "The Little People" "Four O'Clock" "Hocus-Pocus and Frisby" "The Trade-Ins" "The Gift" "The Dummy" "Young Man's Fancy" "I Sing the Body Electric" "Cavender Is Coming" "The Changing of the Guard"
Season 4	"In His Image" "The Thirty-Fathom Grave" "Valley of the Shadow" "He's Alive" "Mute" "Death Ship" "Jess-Belle" "Miniature" "Printer's Devil" "No Time Like the Past" "The Parallel" "I Dream of Genie" "The New Exhibit" "Of Late I Think of Cliffordville" "The Incredible World of Horace Ford" "On Thursday We Leave for Home" "Passage on the Lady Anne" "The Bard"
Season 5	"In Praise of Pip" "Steel" "Nightmare at 20,000 Feet" "A Kind of a Stopwatch" "The Last Night of a Jockey" "Living Doll" "The Old Man in the Cave" "Uncle Simon" "Probe 7, Over and Out" "The 7th Is Made Up of Phantoms" "A Short Drink from a Certain Fountain" "Ninety Years Without Slumbering" "Ring-a-Ding Girl" "You Drive" "The Long Morrow" "The Self-Improvement of Salvadore Ross" "Number 12 Looks Just Like You" "Black Leather Jackets" "Night Call" "From Agnes—With Love" "Spur of the Moment" "An Occurrence at Owl Creek Bridge" "Queen of the Nile" "What's in the Box" "The Masks" "I Am the Night—Color Me Black" "Sounds and Silences" "Caesar and Me" "The Jeopardy Room" "Stopover in a Quiet Town" "The Encounter" "Mr. Garrity and the Graves" "The Brain Center at Whipple's" "Come Wander with Me" "The Fear" "The Bewitchin' Pool"

Opening narration

Plot

Closing narration

See also

References

External links